


the punchline to a very bad joke

by clarabelle



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Banter, Costumes, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:00:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10747842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarabelle/pseuds/clarabelle
Summary: “Halloween?” Even inquires softly as he draws patterns on Isak’s bare shoulders. A shiver runs down the length his spine, and not from the cold October breeze.“Lea asked me to take her. Pappa has to work, and Mamma…” Isak lets out a small sigh. “There’s no one else.”OR: Captain America, Vladimir Putin, and Princess Leia go trick-or-treating.





	the punchline to a very bad joke

He rubs the soap from his eyes as Even spits a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink.

Isak wonders when they became that couple, with spare toothbrushes and a settled domesticity that is expected after nearly a whole year together. Tackling showers and dental hygiene at the same time because? why not? It’s more convenient that way. To combine daily tasks. Just last week, Isak was separating the laundry— _yes_ , Eskild, _laundry_ —and could not, for the life of him, determine whose gray sweatshirt was whose. Or do they only have one gray sweatshirt? Since they decided to move in together (and perhaps even before that), their wardrobe has somehow morphed into one large unending pile. A jacket that was once Eskild’s is now Even’s and smells like him, too. Not that Isak would ever admit to knowing what Even smells like, as Jonas would most definitely never let him forget it.

(Deodorant and just a hint of charcoal.

The sides of Even’s hands are often stained black after hours spent sketching. No amount of scrubbing truly ever washes it off.

“Dirty old man.”

“Your dirty old man,” Even says.)

They had always been that couple, hadn’t they?

Isak turns the shower faucet off and finally steps out. His boyfriend looks briefly downward but is far too irked at the moment to care about nakedness. Even gargles mouthwash in a way that seems almost passive-aggressive, arms crossed over his chest and those eyebrows hiked far into his hairline. Spits, rinses, and finally speaks.

“A _sister_ ,” Even says. “You have a _sister_.”

“Yes, Even.” Isak sighs an exasperated sigh. This is not a conversation he should be having stark naked. He wraps a towel around his waist. “Her name is Lea, she’s eight, she lives with Pappa. I’ve definitely mentioned her before!”

Isak’s family is still a taboo topic. There are no Sunday dinners like they spend with Even’s parents, playing board games and listening to Even’s endless commentary on _Moulin Rouge_. Just texts and stilted phone calls. Isak doesn’t feel so sick at the sight of Mamma’s Bible verses anymore, and he answers Pappa’s occasional phone call. Lea is sometimes in the background as they talk about rent and school, but Isak never asks to speak with her.

(A terrible, selfish part of him thinks of Lea and Pappa in their cozy flat, and he wonders, _Why her and not me?_

She’s _eight_.)

Chances are, he mentioned Lea very, very briefly and while Even was well on his way to sleep.

“I thought Lea was your dog!” Even gestures wildly with his arms, toothpaste visible in the corner of his mouth. Isak loves him. “You’re _dog_ , Isak!”

Isak can’t help but roll his eyes. Even likes to repeat himself when he’s being dramatic, kind of like how he walks backwards after saying something important. Admittedly, this is less of a hazard.

“Baby—“

“No, no, I remember this.” Even points a finger at him, appearing triumphant. “You said, ‘Yeah, Lea and I used go for walks in the park. I really miss that.’’”

“We did!” Isak steps closer to Even, only a breath apart. “I do!”

“—and I thought, ‘That’s chill. Childhood pets are great.’ Because they _are,_ Isak. And I went to sleep because I was tired from that awful exam, remember? and you chose that moment to tell me that you had a _sister_ , baby, _why_ —”

“Nei, nei, nei,” Isak says, shaking his head. “This is so not a big deal, what the fu—”

“I mean,” Even places a steady hand on Isak’s neck, smirking slightly. “You think you know someone. Like, _really know someone_ , and then they go and _lie_ like this.”

There’s a beat of silence.

Isak lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Then he fondly rolls his eyes and leans forward to place a kiss on Even’s collarbone, muffling his next words, “What can I say? I’m the fucking master of lies, there’s no one who’s a better liar than me.”

“Mhmm,” says Even, voice lower than usual, as Isak makes a slow dissent toward his mouth—pecking the chin, cheek, nose—until finally the two boys are lazily making out in the bathroom of their own apartment.

Amazingly, their home now belongs to no one but themselves. Eskild will not interrupt with a scandalous gasp, nor will Noora and Eva distract them with their loud midnight chats. They could kiss here for hours if they really wanted to, forget any assignments or plans for the day. The novelty has yet to wear off.

Will he ever get used to kissing Even?

(Probably not.)

They break apart minutes later.

“Halloween?” Even inquires softly as he draws patterns on Isak’s bare shoulders. A shiver runs down the length his spine, and not from the cold October breeze.

“Lea asked me to take her. Pappa has to work, and Mamma…” Isak lets out a small sigh. “There’s no one else.”

A pause.

“She’s dressing up as Princess Leia.”

Even lets out a booming laugh, the kind that crinkles his eyes into small slits. “Clever,” he says. “I love her already.”

*

Later, as Isak is pulling on a slightly wrinkled t-shirt, Even asks from their bed, “And what will our costumes be? Gay Luke Skywalker and bi Han Solo?”

Isak rolls his eyes. “You’re just as bad as Eskild. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were not secret gay lovers.”

“Baby, I know you’re a science nerd, but have some imagination,” Even deadpans. Isak sends a mock glare his way. “Okay, so we won’t match costumes with your adorable little sister. What a wasted opportunity, really, Isak—”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“ _I’m_ being dramatic?” Even looks around the room, as if searching for someone else, just as he did on that beautiful morning so many months ago. “ _Me_?”

“Yes, you,” Isak pushes the dresser drawer back into place and joins Even on their bed. “Why do we have to dress up anyway?”

Even places a soft kiss on his cheek. “Please?” Another kiss, this time on the eyebrow. “For me?” Another. “The man of your dreams?”

After a millisecond of consideration: “Fine,” Isak mutters. “You win.”

“So?”

“ _So_?”

“Eggs and sour cream? Cardamom and cheese toasties?” Even has sparkles in his eyes. “Know any more iconic duos?”

“Captain America and Vladimir Putin,” Isak says, groaning into his pillow.

 

 

**Catfucker and friends**

**Magnus**  
Hey Jonas  
Saw this and thought of you buddy  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJKF9E0XGd4>

**Jonas**  
Awww Mags  
I love you too

**Magnus**  
No homo  
Right Isak?

**Jonas  
** Isaaaaaaak

**Magnus  
** Isak Isak Isak Isak Isak Isak Isak Isak Isak

**Jonas  
** Issyyyyyy

**Mahdi  
** Leave him alone

**Isak  
** Even is making me dress up as Vladimir Putin

**Mahdi  
**??????????

**Isak**  
I made a suggestion  
That I now regret

**Magnus  
** Kinky

**Jonas  
** Yeah way to go bro

**Isak**  
Ugh no  
For Halloween

**Jonas**  
Halloween is a capitalistic holiday forced on the masses  
Just as bad as Valentine’s Day, honestly

**Magnus  
** Vilde and I are going as cat and mouse

**Mahdi  
** Now that’s kinky

**Isak**  
You would like that, wouldn’t you?  
Catfucker

**Mahdi  
** Ayyyyyyy

**Jonas**  
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

  


**Isak  
**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Magnus  
** Come on guys

 

 

**Noora Amalie**

**Isak**  
Hei  
Can you do me a favor?

**Noora  
** Yes?

**Isak**  
Okay so my sister is dressing up as princess Leia for Halloween  
Her costume didn’t come with a wig  
Could you maybe fix her hair into those bun things?

**Noora  
** Why, because I’m a girl?

**Isak**  
Yes????  
No  
I don’t know

**Noora  
** Sexism is a very serious issue in our society and I refuse to contribute!

**Isak**  
I know it is!!!  
I just thought you could help…You wear lipstick and have nice hair  
I didn’t mean to be sexist  
I can ask Eva?

**Noora**  
Calm down, Isak  
Just joking  
Of course I’ll help :)

 

 

**Eskild Tryggvasson**

**Eskild  
** A new baby Isak is coming to my apartment on Halloween and you failed to tell me, your former guru and confidant

**Isak**  
Former?  
I still have your drunk DMs from last night

**Eskild**  
You smelly boy  
There are more important things to talk about.  
Like your betrayal, for example

**Isak  
** What did I do now

**Eskild**  
Frankly, I’m offended that Noora  
NOORA  
Is your go-to person for hairstyle tips

**Isak  
** What’s wrong with Noora’s hair

**Eskild**  
Nothing at all  
Short hair is very popular right now  
Do you know how I know that, Isak?  
ISAK  
ISAK ANSWER ME

**Isak  
** How do you know that Eskild

**Eskild**  
Because I know hair  
Space buns are my specialty, too  
Baby Isak is missing out

**Isak**  
I don’t know what to tell you  
I just asked her because she’s a girl  


**Eskild  
** Well, that’s sexist

 

 

**Everyone**

**Isak**  
Sorry to ruin any Halloween plans but  
My little sister has to come to your doorsteps and beg for candy  
In the name of capitalism amen

**Jonas**  
Fine  
But I’m not happy about it

**Magnus**  
Hey!!!  
I thought we were egging in the name of capitalism???

**Isak**  
Please  
 

**Mahdi  
** I’m in

**Eva  
** Me too!

**Vilde**  
We can’t use my house  
Wine parties, you know…

**Noora  
** Can’t wait to meet her :)

**Sana  
** For 50k

**Chris**  


 

 

In less than an hour, Pappa will be dropping Lea off on his way to work.

Isak is kind of freaking out, to be honest.

It will be the first time that Lea sees him in a very long time. He straightens pillows, opens the refrigerator not one but _three_ times, and paces from room to room in order to clear his mind from worry.

_What is he so_ worried _about?_ is the question, one that even Isak doesn’t have the answer to.

Perhaps he fears that his little sister will walk into his home with Even (the home that they are so, so proud of), wrinkle her nose, and call for Pappa to pick her up.

Objectively, he knows that will probably not happen. What eight-year-old cares about interior design? Isak still feels a bit self-conscious as he takes notice to the wear and tear that had hardly existed before this moment: a chipped piece of tile here, an odd and unidentifiable smell there. He is well aware that their apartment is far from luxurious, with peeling paint and a weird red stain on the living room carpet that could be anything from wine spillage to actual childbirth, but.

It’s _theirs_.

His old bedroom had been a lonely place for a majority of his time in the kollectiv: Staring up at the ceiling after another test that would surely determine his undetermined sexuality. Pictures of attractive, scantily-clad women adorning his walls as he desperately clung to any shred of heterosexuality. Late nights where he barely slept at all, and the sun would come up in the morning only for the cycle to repeat itself.

Then, finally—sunshine. A beautiful boy kissing him as they smoked weed, blew smoke dangerously into each other’s eyes, and spoke of Nicholas Cage’s groundbreaking filmography (amongst other things).

(“You seem happier,” Sana had said the other day, dimple present and genuine. “Lighter.”

The statement has resonated with him ever since.)

His biology partner is hardly ever wrong, as Isak is often reminded. And he _is_ different now; just about anyone can see that. The person he was a year ago would have whiplash at the thought of being in a loving, committed relationship with a man, let alone the fact that they now live together as an actual cohabitating couple. Two names are on the lease. Sometimes the thought alone takes Isak’s breath away.

“I can hear you thinking from here,” says Captain America from the couch. “Are you thinking, ‘Has Vladimir Putin ever been so unbelievably sexy?’ Because he hasn’t, babe. Not until now.”

Isak looks down. His costume is pitiful. He couldn’t find anything but a black t-shirt with Putin’s face on it, staring deep into any onlooker’s soul. As expected, Even had been far more passionate in picking out his costume. It was extremely important that he found just the right shade of blue tights, as the outfit would be _incomplete without them, Isak, honestly_. And who is Captain America without his signature weapon? Magnus kept a toy shield tucked away in his closet, which surprised just about no one. The prop is currently leaning against their coffee table.

They are ridiculous. Isak groans, slumping down onto the couch. “You get to explain this to Lea.”

“Explain what?” Even pulls him into his arms, kissing his cheek with a loud _mwah!_ Isak tries and fails to seem annoyed. “What is there to explain about the passionate love affair between Steven Grant Rogers and the current president of Russia?”

Isak rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do. Two star-crossed lovers, kept apart due to pride and circumstance.” Even arcs an arm through the air, the universal sign for _I’m creating a mental picture, watch me._ “Their passion knows no bounds. After years of sneaking heated looks and raunchy phone calls, the two men finally consummate their love. ‘I missed you so much,’ said Steve, his pulsing member standing to salu— _mrph_ —“

He cuts him off with a quick kiss. When they pull apart, Isak says, “At least you aren’t wearing a long white beard this time. I was coughing up hairballs for days.”

“You loved that beard, baby.”

_I really did_ , Isak doesn’t say.

They are cuddling in their living room when Lea finally does arrive. Even insists on answering the door together, which brings their “nauseating couple” status to a whole new level; he goes along with it anyway. Shoulder-to-shoulder with his dork boyfriend, Isak takes a deep breath and turns the handle.

He anticipated that Lea would look significantly older. A year in the life of a child can bring some drastic changes: fewer baby teeth, longer hair, additional inches of height. But as Isak looks down at his baby sister, it is as if Lea had somehow aged backward in time. She wears a long white dress with its signature silver belt, blonde locks tangled from a day of school and play. Little hands fiddle with the straps of her backpack. In the crook of her elbow is an orange bag with a pumpkin’s smiling face on it. She bites her lip in either uncertainty or nervousness, and he doesn’t exactly know which.

Before Isak has the chance to say anything, Even has crouched down to Lea’s level. He points at her lack of space buns. “Princess, your hair!”

Lea peers over Even’s shoulder and catches Isak's eye. “Pappa said Isak would fix it,” she says, almost shyly. She doesn’t sound particularly confident in his hair-styling ability.

“Don’t worry, Captain America will save the day,” Even says while dramatically broadening his chest. “So here’s the plan: We’ll sit down and eat my world famous lasagna, and then we can head over to our friend Noora’s house to fix your Princess Leia hair. Sound good?”

Silence. Then: “Good,” she repeats.

“Great!” He extends a hand for Lea to shake, which she returns with only a little hesitation. “Halla, I’m Even.”

They lead her into the kitchen. Isak sets the table as Lea gazes curiously around the room. He hasn’t really said anything to her yet, no “hello” or “how are you,” but Lea appears to be content with the quiet. Even whistles as he removes his prized dish from the oven.

Isak places a fork and plate in front of Lea. He can feel her gaze on his shirt, and he waits.

“Who are you, Issy?” she finally asks. Her head is cocked to the side.

“Um, well, I—“ He sighs. Mumbles: “Vladimir Putin.”

After a second or two of consideration, Lea nods. This seems to satisfy her somehow.

 

 

Eskild answers the door in a snapback, hoodie, and that famous Jesus tee. It’s so tame that Isak is set aback just a bit. He had been expecting anything from a sexy hamburger to Jessica Rabbit, and after further inspection, Isak is understandably enraged.

“That’s _mine_!” he exclaims, pointing at Eskild’s blue hat. He moves to take it right off his head but Eskild bats his hands away in mild annoyance. Isak would bet money that there’s a Superman logo on the opposite side.

“Yes, it’s part of my costume,” says Eskild. “I’m a stupid boy called Isak.”

Isak squawks. There’s an adorable giggle from behind him, where Lea had muffled her amusement into a tiny hand. Eskild takes this as inspiration to keep going: “I bought three air fresheners in preparation for your visit” and “How ever do you put up with this, Even?”

He shoulders past the doorway as if he still lives here. The front door shuts with a click as footsteps closely follow. Noora turns around the corner with a mug in her hand, tea bag dangling from its side.

“Hei!” Noora chirps. She smiles warmly in Lea’s direction. “You must be Lea. I’m Noora.”

Lea ducks her head and responds with a quiet “halla.”

They all sort of glance at each other for a moment in time. Then:

Eskild claps his hands together. “Okay, let’s give this poor girl some space buns. I have a party to get to.”

Isak can’t help himself from saying, “Eskild…Like, you can go? Noora is fixing her hair?”

“Ex _cuse_ me,” Eskild gasps, a dramatic palm resting over his heart. “I am your _guru,_ how dare you—“

From the corner of his eye, Isak watches as Noora takes Lea by the hand and ushers her down the hallway. Even places two strong hands on Isak’s shoulders, shaking him slightly with the motion.

“He’s sorry, Eskild,” says an apologetic Even.

“I just don’t get it. He invites himself into my home—on a _holiday_ , no less—and then tells _me_ to leave?”

“Oh, come _on_.”

Eskild continues as if he hadn’t spoken. “Your costume, though, Even—” He makes a complimentary sound, winking. “I appreciate a man in tights.”

“Takk,” says Even, smiling toothily, his Captain America shield strapped on like a backpack. He points at Eskild’s tee. “Way to capture Isak’s aesthetic. That shirt definitely looks familiar.”

“Why thank you, Even! I was going for ‘rude boy who doesn’t appreciate his guru.’ Did I accomplish his ‘look’?”

Even chuckles, and Isak exclaims, “Eskild!”

“What?”

“I can _hear_ you.”

“And I can _smell_ you.” He crinkles his nose. “Have you run out of the air freshener I gave you?”

“ _No_ , Eskild.”

“And how is school?”

“It’s fine. Boring. Why are you asking so many questions?”

Eskild shrugs. Then, in teasing tone, “So, are you two using protection? Condoms? Lube?”

Isak groans. “ _Ha det_ , guru,” he says, tugging Even past by the arm.

Déjà vu strikes as he creeps around the doorway of his old room. Video-gaming is traded in for a makeshift salon. The girls send them acknowledging looks before returning to the task at hand, where Isak then hears his little sister say more words than she has all night:

“—from America, and she said that _their_ Halloween is better over there than it is here because they have more candy and cooler costumes, which is just _stupid_ —she’s going as _Tinker Bell_. Princess Leia is so much cooler, right, Noora?”

Noora nods with a bobby pin in her mouth. She twists some blonde hair around and sticks it into place. “Princess beats fairy any day.”

Even makes an agreeing sound. As he nods, the stubborn piece of hair—yes, _that one_ —escapes from his quiff in true James Dean fashion. Isak licks his lips.

“See?” Lea crosses her arms. “Tomorrow I’ll bring all my candy to school and prove her stupid face wrong.”

“Close your eyes,” Noora warns as she sprays a cloud of aerosol into the air. “Okay, open them.”

Noora points to the sign hanging on her wall. It reads: _Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about_. _Be kind. Always._ “Maybe your classmate is homesick, did you ever think of that?”

By the expression on Lea’s face, it was clear that she hadn’t.

Lea lifts a shoulder. “Well, at least I know I have a better costume than _Issy_.”

“Hey!” he squawks. “Rude. Should I ask Noora to stop?”

His sister is ridiculous with her hair only halfway finished. Noora shoots him a look that says, _Like you could make me do anything._ They continue on without a hitch, and before Isak can properly lose a round of Candy Crush, his sister is the spitting image of a young Princess Leia—hair split down the middle with two twists on each side.

On their way out, Noora gives Lea a handful of equally unhealthy sweets. He can tell that she would much rather hand over a nutritious apple or orange but chooses not to in the spirit of the holiday. Even kisses her on the cheek, a true gentleman. Eskild, who apparently hadn’t left yet, winks and places a stick of deodorant in Lea’s pumpkin bag.

From Linn’s room, a muffled voice complains about the noise. Just like old times.

(Isak misses them terribly.)

 

 

People gawk at them on the tram.

Princess Leia is being escorted by Captain America and a terrible impersonation of Vladimir Putin, and—to them—it is an unusual sight to see. One girl has a particularly bad staring problem.

Even notices this and gives her a crinkly-eyed grin. She blushes.

“Eskild was right,” Even says, gesturing to his long legs. “I look great in these tights.”

Isak can’t deny that. His own cheeks redden at the thought. “We should’ve gone with Luke and Han,” he admits.

“Ha!” Even is triumphant. “Did you hear that, Lea? It sounded like your brother just admitted that he was wrong.”

“I heard him,” says Lea, giggling.

His mouth hangs open. “Ganging up on me? Wow. I see how it is.”

“Isak, what is the point of having a younger sibling if we don’t gang up on you?”

“Yeah, Issy!”

“Whatever.” Isak crosses his arms. “And I didn’t admit to anything. Just—less people would be looking at us if we wore different costumes, that’s all.”

“Hmmm,” Even says. “You see, I distinctly remember someone saying that Han Solo and Luke Skywalker were not secret gay lovers.”

“Sounds like a real idiot.”

“Oh, he is.” Even kisses his cheek, and instead of flinching away like he might have done a year ago, Isak leans into his touch. “There’s always next year, babe.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. A persistent smile tugs at his lips. “Next year.”

With Even, there is always something to look forward to.

 

 

Knocking on Eva’s front door is a weird experience. It feels oddly…formal. Too formal.

“Ugh,” Isak whines. “The window is so much better.”

 

 

As they board the tram once again, Lea seems pleased with her newest haul. Eva did not disappoint.

(“Do I ever?” inquires the cocky, Eva-sounding voice in his head.)

With that thought in mind, Isak takes out his phone to send a warning text to the group chat:

 

**Catfucker and friends**

**Isak**  
On our way  
Please be sober

**Jonas  
** Anything for you Issy

**Magnus  
** You owe us beer for this

**Mahdi  
** Yeah, four cases

**Isak  
** I always owe you beer

**Magnus**  
Truuuuu  
Sucks that you can’t go egging with us bro  
Is this how it’ll be when you and Even have kids?

**Jonas  
** Magnus!!! Holy fuck

**Mahdi  
** Be chill

**Magnus**  
It’s an honest question!  
They already live together  
Who doesn’t want to marry my boy Even?

**Jonas  
** It kind of sounds like you do, Mags

**Magnus  
** What the fuck??? I’m with Vilde

**Mahdi  
** You hug every time you see him

**Magnus  
** I can’t hug people I like?

**Jonas  
** Issy better hang on to his man

**Magnus**  
Is it because Even’s gay?  
Isak, you know I’m straight right?

**Isak**  
Everyone knows how straight you are Magnus  
Just answer the door when we get there

**Jonas  
** Sir yes sir!

**Mahdi  
** Anything for King Isak

**Magnus**  


**Isak**  


Isak was right to be worried.

“Apparently Magnus is in love with you,” he says, not really worried at all.

Even eyes Isak’s lips; he sticks a tongue out to wet them. “I tend to have that effect on people.” And, boy, _does he_.

Mouth full of candy, Lea chimes in, “You two are _gross_.”

Their stare is broken, and Isak is indignant. “ _Gross_ is talking with your mouth full, Lea. Where are your manners?”

“Yeah!” Even agrees with a shake of the head. “That isn’t very princess-like, Princess.”

Lea eats two more. Her smirk is browned with chocolate and very clearly says, _Try and stop me. A princess does what she likes._

 

 

He should’ve known that introducing Lea to his idiot friends would be a fucking disaster. Case and point: Magnus forgets to buy the candy.

When Jonas opens the door, Lea calls out _“knask eller knep!”_ and holds open her bag. Jonas’ face immediately falls.

“You f—“ Isak goes to say, but a bony elbows jabs him hard in the stomach.

“Hallo, Jonas!” greets Even.

“Hallo,” responds a weary Jonas. He scratches at his unruly mop of hair.

Isak shakes his head in disbelief. “I sent you two reminders. Two!”

Jonas mouths a “sorry” in his direction.

Magnus appears from behind Jonas with two hands covering his eyes, groaning, “I’m so sorry, bro! It was my job to get the stuff but I was with Vilde all day and I totally blanked. You know how she can be.”

Lea has already lowered her bag by this point.

(As well as her expectations, probably.)

“Why didn’t you tell me that in the group chat?” he asks. “When I said I was coming over with Lea? What did you think we were doing, Magnus, baking treats for kosegruppa?”

“I forgot!”

“Oh, you forgot.” He turns to his sister, who appears far from distraught. (Eva had given her a _lot_ of candy.) “Sorry, Lea. I guess Halloween is ruined.”

“Wow, Isak,” says Magnus. “Wow.”

Mahdi chooses this moment join them at the door. His arms are filled with miscellaneous items: a packaged toothbrush, someone’s phone charger, an apple, two pieces of gum, and a copy of _2 Fast 2 Furious_.

“Here,” he says to Lea. “Knask eller knep.”

Magnus reaches a tentative hand toward the charger. Isak glares, and Magnus backs away.

Lea grabs the toothbrush from the pile.

“Dental hygiene is important,” Even says, because of course he does.  “Also, good news: Your sister has better taste in films than you do, babe.”

“She does not!” Isak exclaims. “What’s wrong with _Fast and Furious_ , Even?”

“Nothing at all. Of course, the titles are confusing and make no numerical sense, but action-wise—”

“Just because I don’t like silent films, _babe_ , doesn’t mean I have bad taste in movies.”

“ _The General_ is so much _more_ than a silent film, Isak. Buster Keaton—“

“Yes, yes, the guy with the Hitler mustache—“

“No!” Even is positively delighted. “No, that’s Charlie Chaplin. See? Zero taste.”

“Whatever,” Isak finally says. Then, “ _Fast and Furious_ is still good.”

“Okay.”

“Alright.”

"Good."

They look away from each other and back at everyone else.

Jonas rolls his eyes. “Sorry, are we interrupting?”

“I don’t know, are you ever going to invite us in?” Isak asks instead. “I’m freezing out here.”

The three boys share a glance.

“Yes, King Isak!”

“Bow down to King Isak!”

“Anything for King Isak and his princess!”

Magnus even makes a bowing gesture.

Idiots.

 

 

Sana is their last stop for the evening.  Isak has only been to her house a handful of times. She usually comes to his and Even’s apartment if they have to study, as her brother and his friends can be quite loud at times.

(Liar.

She just doesn’t want him to see her watch Yousef. Which she does. Fondly, like he has cured cancer, walked on the moon, and saved little children from certain death—all in one sitting.

When will those two _date_ already?)

They huddle on her front stoop. “Don’t worry, Sana will remember the candy,” Isak says to his sister, and then in a whisper, “She forgets _nothing._ ”

Lea nods and rings the bell.

As she swings open the door, Sana wears a blonde wig tied together with a pretty red bow; her hijab is preset yet accessorized. She smirks at Isak’s t-shirt for its ridiculousness, and he tugs at the collar.

“ _Knask eller knep,_ ” Lea says.

Sana holds up a finger, goes back inside, and returns with two handfuls of sweets.

“Takk,” says Lea. Sana gives her a [tiny nod.](https://evamoans.tumblr.com/post/159739791439/evensbestbuddymikael-biology-buddies-the-nod)

She then turns to Isak and makes a grabby hand gesture. “My 50k.”

*

As they are about to leave Sana’s, Even’s old friends from Bakka come around. 

Mikael makes the comment, “Even, why didn’t you tell me? I could have been your Sarah Palin!”

They are a rowdy bunch, but Isak can see why Even likes them.

 

Some time later:

They will be needing a bigger couch.

Isak thinks about voicing that thought aloud, knowing that Even would appreciate a _Jaws_ quote, but—seeing as Isak is currently sulking—he decides not to.

_Lea is a_ guest _, Isak,_ clearly _she gets to sleep in the bed._

“This is so stupid,” he says instead. “We are twice her size.”

Even rests his lips on the back of Isak's neck—not even in a sexy way, but because he has literally no place else to go. Their legs tangle and intertwine. Even’s hand is on his hip, but when are they not? Isak is practically laying on top of him. Realistically, he knows that someone has to sleep on the floor. They just aren’t ready to do that yet.

“Baby, _I_ am twice her height,” responds Even.

Isak makes an offended noise. “I’m just as tall as you are!”

“So small,” Even says, smile muffling his words, “I can barely see you from here.”

“Fuck you, oh my god.”

“Not tonight. Your sister might hear.”

Isak groans.

They don’t talk for a while after that. In fact, Isak was pretty sure that Even had gone to sleep; that is, until he says, “She’s really great, Isak. Like _really_ great.”

Isak _wants_ to say “she learned it from me,” but his lips won’t form the words. Instead, he settles for “I know.”

“We can have her over more,” continues Even, tentative, unsure. Waiting for him to continue.

Isak looks away. His eyes start to sting just a bit. “Yeah, we should do that. I’ll talk to Pappa.”

Even trails a finger up and down his cheek. After a moment, “I love you,” he says, softly. Like a promise.

“I love you, too," because he _does_.

They kiss.

 

Yeah.

It had been a good night.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> in case it wasn't obvious, knask eller knep = trick or treat
> 
> you can find me on [tumblr](https://evamoans.tumblr.com/) or reblog my post [here](https://evamoans.tumblr.com/post/160069948859/the-punchline-to-a-very-bad-joke-clarabelle). no pressure, though. thanks for reading!


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